did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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