who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
