Nicole vs. Life
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
