I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
