"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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