He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
