I'm pants shitting drunk right now
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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