So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
