Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
