My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
