it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
