I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
