and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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