You work out of a Hotel?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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