the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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