I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
