She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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