I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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