What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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