R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
