I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
