how can u be prego again
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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