Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
