How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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