spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
