I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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