He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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