im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
