she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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