so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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