Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
