is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
