We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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