I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
