Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
we should paint friendship bongs
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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