I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
