i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
