Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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