i just google imaged poop.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
