Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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