This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
