does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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