okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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