Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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