Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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