I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
