yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
