does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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