It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's official drugs can't kill me
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
