We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
