Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
