Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
