Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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