he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
